thirty days off.

Thirty days off from what, you might ask? Social media.

Is it hard? Yes.

Do I miss it? Yes.

Is it worth it? Also, yes.

the logistics ::

My loose plan: No browsing Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram. I’m replying to snapchats and Instagram DMs and looking at Pinterest with discretion.

the better yeses ::

More leaving my phone at home.

More eye contact.

More reading.

More creation.

More dreaming.

Less envy.

Less stress.

Less time doing homework because my attention span is broadened.

Less comparison.

the why ::

[part one]

Recently I read an article by Italo Calvino that talks about how when you begin to take photos of your life, you then feel compelled to take at least one photo a minute to give context. Because once you see one moment captured, you are fearful of fleeting moments and therefore become obsessed with fragmenting time through recording it in some fashion. In order to do record this moment, you have to remove yourself from the present, if even for an instant. You are recording for a memory and therefore already beginning to see the present moment in the past tense.

Screen Shot 2018-09-19 at 11.43.31 PM
Italo Calvino

These words inspires me to create more, look into the eyes of the people around me, sit with more questions. To take thirty days off. To live in the moment I’m standing in. To be awake to my own thoughts and to the people around me. I believe you can live fully present and have an active Instagram account. But if you live in this place of always, always needing to capture every good thing, the vision of your life will become blurry.

[part two]

When Mary was told by the angel that she would give birth to the Savior of the world, she asked “how?”. She said “I’m Yours” to the Father. She went to go visit Elizabeth and they praised God together. When Jesus was born it is recorded in Luke 2:19 that

…Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.

All of our minutes are a gift from God, but with so much of my life changing at the moment, I don’t want to look back and feel like I’ve missed it.

exhibit a – My boyfriend Zach just moved to Kansas. For the first time in our relationship, we are minutes away from each other instead of hours! I’m working two jobs with a full school schedule. I want to build community among my coworkers, my college friends, our new church home. I want to love my people well through time, love, service.

This season is unique and it’s hard to keep up with everything shifting, in big and subtle ways. When I look around at all the GOOD (& even the ugly), I want to be more like Mary.

I want to say, “How can this be?” (I’m still in this stage. Thank You so much, God. For you. For all this change. Also, please send more coffee.)

I want to surrender to His will. (His timing is not mine. His plan is not mine. His timing and His plan are best.) 

I want to celebrate with those around me, wholeheartedly. (This requires my full attention.) 

I want to ponder these things in my heart, not missing a thing.

There is more ahead then I can imagine. So, I’m marking my first deep breath here – in the margin of an empty notification screen, a heart of reflection and anticipation.

What rhythms in your life help you to ponder and process the beautiful things going on in your life?

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